September/November 2007 Word of the Lord
A Dreamer’s Light
A prophetic poem for the church of Christ
Matthew 6:22-23 "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
“Your eye is the light of your life, if your eye is filled with darkness, then where is your light?”
Light of my eye, the apple in the sky
Dreamers dream, things aren’t what they seem.
Pudding and cream are a delight
But jewels too are a pretty sight.
Lovely are they,
Still
They do make one bite seem larger than life.
Things thrown up in the air
Shows a person that doesn’t care
That good things can come
Though all’s not fairly done.
Did I help you to see what’s above comes from me,
And no matter how far I take you, you are
Precious in my sight, a wholesome delight,
And if anybody doesn’t see, they may fall not of Me.
I hold them in the womb though theirs’ is a messy room.
Candles by their flames are known to be they
Jokesters all know who follow each way.
Your journey is not over, there’s much more come your way.
Still you’re undone I hope this day.
Do you understand I am the Potter’s hand?
I make you the way you’re supposed to obey.
So but then if you wallow you won’t have to swallow
Just what I’m trying to say.
I’m going to show you another option.
This what I tell you should be your caption.
No matter how much you try
You cannot make yourself die.
So leave it to me, and wait and see
Just what will come and who will be.
All is mine and all I control
So don’t be so blind as to flaunt your soul.
Nothing is too difficult for me,
Nothing needs baring that I can’t see.
I want healing to flow so give us a go
To straighten your sight.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Relationship advice from Ephesians
When the Lord says that husband and wife are one flesh, he is referring to a unity not unlike what He wants for the body of Christ. Just as we are one in Christ, so man and wife is one in each other. Ephesians 2:14 describes what this unity means.
“For He Himself is our peace, who has made the two one, and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by setting aside in His flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in Himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. Peace to you who were far and peace to you who are near. For through Him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit. No longer foreigners or strangers but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of His household. “
When husband and wife are one, the dividing walls have come down. They do not hide anything from each other. They are completely open with one another and they share out of their hearts with each other. Just as they accept themselves, so do they accept one another, hearing each other without judgment. They share what they feel in an environment of complete love and acceptance. This is what it means to have no walls. Being one with each other becomes the equivalent of being one with themselves. Their comfort levels with one another exceed 100%.
And so ladies and gentlemen, here is a clue to whether you are in the right relationship. Are you comfortable with one another? Can you imagine yourself being one within your current relationship? Is there anything keeping you from one another right now? If there is, can you discuss it? If you feel you are with one whom you could be comfortable with but you are not completely comfortable with him yet, then examine your relationship before continuing. Think about how long you have been dating. Has it been three months or more? How much time have you spent with this person over the course of your relationship? Now check out your comfort level. If you have spent a lot of time with this person, but you still feel blocked from sharing your true feelings, then ask yourself why. Have you tried to share parts of yourself only to feel rejected? Has your partner been sensitive to your sharing? How open has your partner been with you? Do you share equally with one another?
Now if upon examining your relationship, you have discovered that you are not yet that intimate with each other, that does not mean you need to break up. However, it does mean to be careful. Now check up on your physical intimacy. If you find you are more intimate physically then you are emotionally, then its time to put on the breaks. It is a risky business to be intimate with someone. If you do not feel comfortable emotionally, but are extremely physical, then you are only harming yourself. Physical closeness can and will happen naturally as you get close to someone emotionally. However, a physical closeness that bypasses emotional closeness will establish bonds between you that you are not ready for. For if you are not emotionally close to your partner, then you must realize that this may not be your soul mate or the one with whom you will be the most fulfilled.
Now of course, the more time you spend with someone, the more natural physical affection will be—however emotional affection should also increase at the same rate. If you find yourself at the point where physical intimacy goes beyond emotional intimacy, then examine yourself and your relationship further. How has this happened? Is there an emotional immaturity in you that has hindered you from sharing your emotions or has made you need physical closeness too quickly? Are you ready to share emotionally to the extent that you share physically? Can you see yourself as one with this person, as someone with whom you can be completely open and feel accepted no matter what? If you are truly serious about your relationship, you should discuss these things with your partner. Or at least try opening up some more—be honest with him or her about an issue or feeling you have kept private. How does his or her response make you feel? Can you tell him or her how you felt? Do you feel better after talking it over with him or her? If so, then you are on your way to a closer, more fulfilling relationship. This may be one with whom you can spend the rest of your life.
Ephesians 2:14 also gives us a clue to how physical our affection should be at times. This scripture says that the closer we are to each other, the less important rules become. For when we are one, we do not follow rules, we only follow love. Therefore ladies and gentlemen, the closer you are emotionally, the more natural it is to be close physically. If there is a rule for physical closeness, then it is this: It comes out of love. In pure closeness, the walls have come down—if one partner has a qualm, the other partner listens and they talk about it. When you have doubts about your closeness, but keep your mouth shut, you jeopardize true closeness. However, if you can stop and talk about it, a real closeness will develop if both partners respond with love to one another. If you talk about it and feel better, then what follows is much more fulfilling. Yet if you talk about it and one or the other partner is not satisfied, feels unheard, or feels rejected, then its best to back off physically until you can both feel good about how close you are. Physical closeness is meant to complement and add to your emotional closeness. They go hand in hand, and if one is missing; then you are hurting your relationship.
Now I speak to responsible people who know what to retain for marriage. Yet even that is up to you together. However as responsible people, you will know yourself and not go further than you can handle. Yet I cannot emphasize enough… PHYSCIAL CLOSENESS MUST NOT EXCEED EMOTIONAL CLOSENESS. Please keep caution if you do not feel sure enough that this is one you will marry. Keep caution emotionally as well as physically. For the closer you get to someone, the harder a break up will be. However, if you already know this is not the one, then the quicker you break up with them, the sooner you will get over them and you will be even closer to finding the one for you. Yet, you will need time to heal. I strongly suggest not remaining friends with one with whom you separated. At least, take a long break until you are completely healed and at one with the break up. The exception would be if you both feel that you just need time away, but you strongly feel will both be back together. If this is not a mutual feeling, beware!
Yet I say to you all, nothing is a waste. Everything in life is a chance to learn and prepare for God’s best. If you find yourself in constant breakups or constant pain in relationships, I highly advise you to find some way to gain healing for yourself. A person who is most at one with themselves is the most likely to find the one with whom they will be the most fulfilled. This person will also be most fulfilled in life no matter the circumstances. Healing comes through time with God, counsel, spiritual books, and asking for the Holy Spirit to help you. Listen to God who wants your best and loves you no matter where you are in life!
Monday, November 15, 2010
What is true forgiveness?
Forgiveness. When is it true? When do we know we have forgiven someone of their wrongs? Is it when it no longer hurts? Is it when we can relate to the one who wronged us without feeling resentment or bitterness. Is it when we can relate to one who wronged us without getting into a fight or without feeling extra sensitive?
Is forgiveness a one time affair or a process? Can we accomplish it with the words, "I forgive you." Can we accomplish it with merely the willingness to forgive? What about the willingness to be willing to forgive?
Forgiveness may come easy when a person confesses with true contriteness of heart and acknowledges how much they have wronged you. But what about when they do not ever acknowledge how hurt you were, how unjust they were in how they treated you. Maybe they think it as a little thing they did, or maybe they do not think they did anything at all. Maybe they think you were the problem. Maybe they feel they have forgiven y0u, and the rest of your feelings are your problem. Is forgiveness easy then?
It is then that one must know, forgiveness is for yourself, not them. If you have any roots of unforgiveness in you towards anyone who has wronged you in your life, then that unforgiveness has a hold on you, and may be the cause of some of your problems or it may be poisoning your attitude in other areas of your life and taking away the full joy God means for you to have.
Sometimes, before we can forgive, we have to grieve. This grief is the very same that we would go through in such life events as losing someone. Sometimes we must grieve over lost closeness we had with the one who wronged us. We may also grieve over the pain that has caused us to suffer for any number of years. We may grieve over loss of joy in our lives, the pain that has held us back in life, that has kept us down. We are grieving over unforgiveness itself. And we may find we must forgive the other person, and also ourselves to go on.
Part of forgiving is being aware of where we are in the grief and forgiveness process. In grief, the stages are as follows: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
The road to forgiveness then follows the stages of grief.
1. Denial--
In denial we are not even aware of the need to forgive. It hurts to acknowledge that we are hurt. So we ignore any kind of pain we may have been feeling. We push it down. We may blame ourselves for any pain we feel, telling ourselves that everything was our fault and so we take full responsibility denying that the other person played any part in our pain.
2. Anger--
In this stage, we realize we have been hurt. We become angry at the other person. We want justice. We may try to get revenge. We turn away from them, ignoring them, or build walls to keep them out of our lives and hearts.
3. Bargaining--
In this stage, we want them back yet we want them to acknowledge their wrong. We probably will try to bring up the incident from the past in an effort to get them to apologize or at least admit their wrong doing. We feel that if they acknowledged it, then we could forgive them. It is our attempt to let go of our bitterness that keeps us bringing up the past continually, demanding apologies and acknowledgment. We also think that maybe if we explain it right or do something a little differently in our relationship with the person, that then they will acknowledge it--then we will at last be set free.
4. Depression--
In this stage, we give up on them ever acknowledging they did anything wrong. We feel that we will never have a real relationship with them, and we feel numb around them and when we think of them. We tell ourselves we don't really care if we ever have a "real" relationship with that person.
5. Acceptance--
At this stage, we finally come to terms with what happened. We grieve our loss of joy, and then realize that we must move on with our lives. We then accept the other person and our relationship with them as it is. For then we find that the answer to how to forgive is within us, not in the other. If we have been separated from the other, we may call for a natural conversation -- not out of a desire to change anything, but out of normal interest in the person. We recognize that our relationship may not be the same as it once was or as we wish it would be, yet we are at one with it, content to let the relationship be as it is. We let go of any hard feelings and enjoy whatever happens now-- for now a page has been turned, and we start afresh. This means we do not push the other person for a closeness that does not exist; we do not envy their friends and we relax. We just let whatever happens to happen.
I do not mean one should stay in a painful relationship. If a person continues to hurt us, naturally we will keep up the walls in our hearts. Yet we can forgive them by accepting that the person is the way they are, and if they are family we learn ways to love them regardless of how they treat us. We do this by having confidence in ourselves and knowing that what the other says and does does not matter to us since they are in the wrong. If we can be certain of ourselves, then we do not believe any barbs that come our way. If they are abusive, we get out of the situation unless they are getting help and are getting better. If a friend keeps hurting us, naturally we will stop being their friend. Yet we can still forgive in our hearts, and we know we have done this when we can think of the other person without bitterness or reliving the hurtful past. Yet forgiveness is a process, and sometimes we think we have forgiven someone, only to have something remind us of the pain. It is then that we must choose not to dwell on it and forgive yet again, refusing to allow bitterness to creep up in our hearts.
Now if the person continues to hurt us, then naturally we will keep walls around our hearts protecting us. Nothing is wrong with this as long as we do not hold it against the other person but accept them as they are with the acknowledgment that they also have some pain in their lives which they project onto us.
Is forgiveness a one time affair or a process? Can we accomplish it with the words, "I forgive you." Can we accomplish it with merely the willingness to forgive? What about the willingness to be willing to forgive?
Forgiveness may come easy when a person confesses with true contriteness of heart and acknowledges how much they have wronged you. But what about when they do not ever acknowledge how hurt you were, how unjust they were in how they treated you. Maybe they think it as a little thing they did, or maybe they do not think they did anything at all. Maybe they think you were the problem. Maybe they feel they have forgiven y0u, and the rest of your feelings are your problem. Is forgiveness easy then?
It is then that one must know, forgiveness is for yourself, not them. If you have any roots of unforgiveness in you towards anyone who has wronged you in your life, then that unforgiveness has a hold on you, and may be the cause of some of your problems or it may be poisoning your attitude in other areas of your life and taking away the full joy God means for you to have.
Sometimes, before we can forgive, we have to grieve. This grief is the very same that we would go through in such life events as losing someone. Sometimes we must grieve over lost closeness we had with the one who wronged us. We may also grieve over the pain that has caused us to suffer for any number of years. We may grieve over loss of joy in our lives, the pain that has held us back in life, that has kept us down. We are grieving over unforgiveness itself. And we may find we must forgive the other person, and also ourselves to go on.
Part of forgiving is being aware of where we are in the grief and forgiveness process. In grief, the stages are as follows: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
The road to forgiveness then follows the stages of grief.
1. Denial--
In denial we are not even aware of the need to forgive. It hurts to acknowledge that we are hurt. So we ignore any kind of pain we may have been feeling. We push it down. We may blame ourselves for any pain we feel, telling ourselves that everything was our fault and so we take full responsibility denying that the other person played any part in our pain.
2. Anger--
In this stage, we realize we have been hurt. We become angry at the other person. We want justice. We may try to get revenge. We turn away from them, ignoring them, or build walls to keep them out of our lives and hearts.
3. Bargaining--
In this stage, we want them back yet we want them to acknowledge their wrong. We probably will try to bring up the incident from the past in an effort to get them to apologize or at least admit their wrong doing. We feel that if they acknowledged it, then we could forgive them. It is our attempt to let go of our bitterness that keeps us bringing up the past continually, demanding apologies and acknowledgment. We also think that maybe if we explain it right or do something a little differently in our relationship with the person, that then they will acknowledge it--then we will at last be set free.
4. Depression--
In this stage, we give up on them ever acknowledging they did anything wrong. We feel that we will never have a real relationship with them, and we feel numb around them and when we think of them. We tell ourselves we don't really care if we ever have a "real" relationship with that person.
5. Acceptance--
At this stage, we finally come to terms with what happened. We grieve our loss of joy, and then realize that we must move on with our lives. We then accept the other person and our relationship with them as it is. For then we find that the answer to how to forgive is within us, not in the other. If we have been separated from the other, we may call for a natural conversation -- not out of a desire to change anything, but out of normal interest in the person. We recognize that our relationship may not be the same as it once was or as we wish it would be, yet we are at one with it, content to let the relationship be as it is. We let go of any hard feelings and enjoy whatever happens now-- for now a page has been turned, and we start afresh. This means we do not push the other person for a closeness that does not exist; we do not envy their friends and we relax. We just let whatever happens to happen.
I do not mean one should stay in a painful relationship. If a person continues to hurt us, naturally we will keep up the walls in our hearts. Yet we can forgive them by accepting that the person is the way they are, and if they are family we learn ways to love them regardless of how they treat us. We do this by having confidence in ourselves and knowing that what the other says and does does not matter to us since they are in the wrong. If we can be certain of ourselves, then we do not believe any barbs that come our way. If they are abusive, we get out of the situation unless they are getting help and are getting better. If a friend keeps hurting us, naturally we will stop being their friend. Yet we can still forgive in our hearts, and we know we have done this when we can think of the other person without bitterness or reliving the hurtful past. Yet forgiveness is a process, and sometimes we think we have forgiven someone, only to have something remind us of the pain. It is then that we must choose not to dwell on it and forgive yet again, refusing to allow bitterness to creep up in our hearts.
Now if the person continues to hurt us, then naturally we will keep walls around our hearts protecting us. Nothing is wrong with this as long as we do not hold it against the other person but accept them as they are with the acknowledgment that they also have some pain in their lives which they project onto us.
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