Sunday, November 24, 2013

Snapshot of the "perfectly normal" secret

I'm perfectly normal.  I just have a secret side to me.  Everyone does.  Who does'nt have their quirks, their ups, their downs; each their own silliness to shrug off?

If you live in Grapevine, Texas, I'm your friendly neighborhood cashier at Walgreens.  Every day I do my best to smile and welcome the people who come through the door, and I enjoy the interactions I have with them no matter how mundane.

Sometimes, however, I have a bad day when my thoughts get a little wayward.  Oh it used to be much worse than it is now.  I used to believe and accept that the thoughts I had were true, and those false truths defined me for quite some time in my life.

I constantly overheard what I thought were the feelings of others towards me, bits of conversations I heard became clear in my mind as utterances of dislike, and it drove a wedge between myself and everyone else.  For awhile I accepted it, but not anymore.

When I was younger, I felt unloved but I did not understand why.  The feelings of rejections imbedded themselves subconsciously from things I overheard or read in others' body language.  Now I notice when I overhear something, and I get feedback about it either from the person who I thought said it (if I feel comfortable with them), or with my husband later on.  When I started doing this, I found out that I was overhearing a lot of the wrong things.

In Proverbs it says to avoid overhearing conversations not meant for your ears because you may hear someone laughing at you...  and you too may have laughed at another.  That does not mean it is our final opinion of the person.