Lonely

Lonely

Friends turned enemies in my mind
Now hidden I must keep them blind
Finding out to them life is a game
Perhaps money is to blame

Much I admit could be pretend
Such is hard to comprehend
Still very real in my head
Makes me feel a bit unfed.

It feels like hatred from this side
For I opened my heart so wide
Only to get it stomped to the ground
Again, as the hands on the clock go 'round.

Why...
The world used to be peachy and clean
now its nothing but a mean machine
with everyone waiting for me to fall
so they can skitter in to claim all.

Maybe if I slow down the daily grind
stop priding myself in my focused mind
and laugh along with everyone else
at the silly tales we tell ourselves.

Yes I need to try not to try
but still work on the fly
but not so hard anymore
'cuz that's what friends are for.

Yet such pandering makes no sense
especially in proclaimed innocence
my aim is not to put to shame
but make up for the times I am blamed.

What I find hard to understand
Is that all but me know what is planned
I am told one thing but its not adding up
They all conspire to get me flupped.

Now at last its time to find friends
of a different sort so I'll turn the bend
to face a different kind of day
with those I find to laugh and play.

So God of Texas hear my cry
I'll do my part now, at least I'll try
To find those of an uplifting sort
who need not compete to raise the fort.