Sunday, October 07, 2012

Man of my dreams: our relationship and how it changed me



When I married the man of my dreams, I just knew he was the one for me.  How did I know?  Well, I wrote a list of qualities I wanted in a man, but it took me time to grow enough to be ready to find him and to get to know the things that mattered.  That's why I waited until I was 30 to marry.  But how did I know so quick?  I met and married him in a year.  

 Well, I dated a couple of guys before that, but it was him that I finally opened up to, and it was him who challenged me mentally, stretching me spiritually as well.  Not only that, He made me feel accepted.  He noticed me right away, and he made me feel special instantly.  Admittedly I was a bit uncomfortable when he first asked me out, but I felt I could say yes after having a car ride with him in which I found out he also had an Assembly of God background like me.  He also had been stretched beyond the denominational boundary-line like me.   

He was definitely worth checking out, and who was I to argue?  Hence our relationship began and blossomed to marriage and now what it is today.  My man came at the right time for me, for I was beginning to have to say no to men I knew were not quite right for me.  That was the hardest thing for me to do, since I loved the attention. 

For the first couple years of our marriage, I always craved his attention, and I may have demanded a bit much of him--but he gave me what he could, and I knew he loved me.  He brought healing to my emotions, sometimes taking the time to do some deep level therapy with me. 

With the birth of my new baby girl, I realized life would never be the same.  At first it was difficult to give most of my attention to my baby girl and let my husband sleep in his "off" hours.  But then one day my husband said something that caught my attention.  I had just had a kind of embarrassing fight with him in front of family.  He told me that night that I was being selfish.  He said it not to hurt me, but to help me.  And help me it did, though I grieved for several days, begging God's forgiveness and help.  

 And so began the Spiritual renewal that has brought me to change my attitude in life and work.  I told Jesus He could go ahead and be my boss whether I'm working or at home.  And I meant it now, because I knew what it meant.  I had often told Jesus, I would "let" Him be my Lord... What I did not realize is that He is Lord of all whether any of us "let" Him or not.  With this recognition came peace and a change of heart, and I keep claiming and praying for His reign to be realized on earth--as I know He has all the answers, and His ways are above all. 

As a woman of God, I do my best to submit to my husband, even when I think He is wrong.  I still have to work on some things.  And it does not mean I am not assertive when I feel the need.  As long as my husband can come to agreement with me or at least agree to disagree, I can do what I feel is best.  We are a good team!

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